Today’s one of the days, I will look back to and realise I made the right decision. Or so do I think.
I saw my crush. Not just a crush. A crush I already had for 10 months. And it’s the toughest one I ever had.
He’s been on my mind since the first time we kissed, no matter how many other boys I kissed or how many boys who showed interest in me (not many, but a few) or even how many girls he kissed, I would always look back at the times we, he and I, shared.
It weren’t many times, those times we shared.
You can easily say we never talked.
As a matter of fact we only saw each other when we went out.
So I saw him every Thursday, and every time it made me happy.
So maybe I have to say I went seeing him. He was always in the same café, and so did I. Not that I only went there for him, but he just made it all much better.
Every time I saw him, I got those nerves. Even when I’d drunk too much. The nerves would still be there.
The times we talked, I can count on one hand. The times we kissed I can count on the other hand. But the times we looked at each other and just smiled because we were too drunk, I lost that count.
Now I can say, the only times we kissed, we were drunk.
But that didn’t change the fact that I still liked him when I was sober.
Like when I saw him in school.
Three times did I see him and his beautiful smile.
Today was the third time. And this third time, I came to a conclusion.
When I looked at him, 10metres away from me. I realised we would never match.
Sure, we match by clothes, attraction and way of living. But I would never be ‘me’ with him, and he would never be ‘he’ with me.
All we had was sexual attraction. And it was fun, oh boy, he was the best kisser I ever had.
But, I made decision. When I saw him today, he didn’t even smile at me, he didn’t even look. How can he ever feel the same for me if he doesn’t even look?
So I’m going to do what I tried so many times: I’m going to forget him.
I’m not just going to try, I will forget him.
I tried it too many times, I focus on other boys. I focus on friends. I focus on school. I focus on work.
But every time I failed.
Now it’s going to happen.
And if I believe in it. You believe in it too, right?
just plug your earphones and listen this
and it hurts me cause no one is going to treat me the way you did, but no one is going to hurt me like you did
Beyonce performing live at the Mrs Carter Show World tour, full hd video shot from the front row/First row - 31 May 2013 (1080P) Antwerpen (antwerps, Anvers)…